Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Good moaning! Here’s a not-ready-for-the-real-DD tuneup, on this Tuesday, January 16, 2018. With my impeccable timing–well, actually, it’s pretty peccable…I’m emerging from my burrow in time for a return to the Portland rain. Which, by the way, is a word the “Sixty Minutes” piece didn’t mention once. We’ll have showers ending today, highs of 50. Snow starts heaping up on the mountains starting Thursday, but computer models believe it will not fall in the lowlands.

A heartstopping moment in the Columbia Gorge last night, as a semi ran into a passenger car that was parked by the side of I-84 near Rooster Rock….and rolled over the edge and into the Columbia River. The Corbett Fire Department tweets that bystanders literally waded into the cold water and pulled the driver to safety.

We’re halfway through January, but Oregon’s 424 crab boats are still bobbling idly in harbors from Astoria to Brookings. Initially the hangup was to allow time for the crabs to get bigger, but now it’s a price dispute–with rough weather just around the corner. That’s bad news for restaurants that specialize in the Oregon delicacy, and worse for the crews and their families who are not getting paid.

A couple in the town of Perris, California–Riverside County, an hour’s drive east of LA–held their thirteen children, ages 2 to 29, captive in their home, chaining them to beds, feeding them scraps, and letting the undernourished youngsters outside so seldom that neighbors barely knew they were there. One of the daughters managed to escape and call police for help; the couple is jailed on nine million dollars bail.

Fire hit an apartment in DeKalb, Georgia just as a family was hosting a sleepover. Twelve people were injured, but it could have been so much worse…the fire chief said, “We were catching babies like they were footballs.”

In the “you’re getting transferred” department: the Hawaii state worker who punched the button triggering that false nuclear alarm has been reassigned, though not fired, for his “honest mistake.” Meantime there was another false missile alarm, this time in Japan. The point to be made is that if human error can accidentally send out erroneous alarms, human error can launch real missiles.

Speaking of incoming missiles, CNN had the world’s undivided attention on this day in 1991 when American bombers and cruise missiles roared into Baghdad to begin Operation Desert Storm.

Somebody posted a photo of a MAX ticket machine…with a needle jammed in the coin slot. Someone else found one jammed into a tree trunk in Old Town. Didn’t see that on “Sixty Minutes” either.

A crack is widening at a rate of 1.6 feet a week in Rattlesnake Ridge near Union Gap, Washington. Nobody’s sure what’s the worst that could happen.

Democrats in the Senate are just one vote shy of having enough to overturn the FCC’s repeal of Net Neutrality.

Loose cannon Steve Bannon is testifying before a House committee today on Russia’s monkeying around with our 2016 election.

OK…what’s next…oh, right! Headlines That Won’t Make Your Heart Attack You! Or something like that:

–“Bill and Melinda Gates Are Paying Off Nigeria’s $76 Million Debt to Japan”

–“NFL surprises 99-year-old Vikings fan with Super Bowl tickets”

–“Georgia firefighter caught on video catching child from apartment blaze”

–“Indiana Police Officer Saves Choking Toddler During First Day On The Job”

–“Chernobyl Disaster Site Transformed To Massive Solar Plant”

–“Louisville man transforms grandfather’s 1957 Chevy Bel Air for 81st birthday surprise”

What else..Sunrise 7:46 AM, sunset 4:55 PM. You won’t see it…but this is the day of the “micro new moon,” when the moon, in its eggy orbit, is at its farthest point from the earth. Which is how I felt Sunday. But thanks to your good wishes, I proclaim myself on the road to wellville, and will rejoin you for real on life’s treadmill tomorrow!

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