Thursday, March 22, 2018

Here we are, up and at ’em on a Thursday, March 22, 2018. The deluge that’s been drowning California has lifted our way, and we’ll collect an inch of rain in the bucket until we crimp the hose and it all turns to showers later on. Snowflakes for the weekend continue to pop up on weather apps, but nothing is expected on the valley floor except for the good old daily drip ™! Sunrise 7:09 AM, sunset 7:26 PM.

The Austin serial bomber left a 25-minute recorded confession that police describe as the outcry of a very challenged young man.

Alert people that we are, the sight of a plastic box tied up with a parachute cord in the middle of I-5 near Woodburn was plenty to trigger calls to 911, and the bomb squad came with their trusty robot which shot the suspicious package with a powerful water cannon, and it was found to contain nothing. Though I-5 was closed for nearly an hour, most folks would agree, given current events, that’s perfectly OK.

Heads up for leadfoots: robocop cameras on NE Marine Drive will start issuing actual tickets today.

Just a relevant tweet from Tigard PD: Officers responded to a crash where a driver reached behind the seat to tend to a child and lost control of the car. Fortunately, everyone was ok.

You wouldn’t be blamed for nodding off during a story about Portland’s 20-year transportation plan, but during City Council’s murmurations yesterday, people snapped awake at the mention of driverless cars. A limited test period and a phasing-in of autonomous vehicles may be in the works, but in the wake of the Arizona fatality, council members seem to be tapping the brakes.

The Portland area population boom is slowing down; we gained 30,000 new folks in the most recent year, compared to 40,000 the previous two. Still, 578 people a week are moving into the Metro area.

I know we’ll go on somehow, but tonight is the end of “Portlandia,” the SNL-influenced show on the boutique IFC cable network that appropriated the name of an obscure copper statue to lampoon a city that’s pretty good at lampooning itself.

We might have to send a couple of our senior politicians to their rooms with no supper. Or better yet, get out the boxing gloves and let them have at it. In one corner, we have former Veep Joe Biden, 75, telling a Miami audience in reference to Trump’s “grabbing” comments from a couple of years ago, “Any guy who talks that was is usually the fattest, ugliest SOB in the room.” And then we have this tweet from President Trump, 71: “Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault. He doesn’t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don’t threaten people Joe!”

Tickets go on sale today for none other than James Comey, the famously fired FBI chief, who will make an April 21 appearance at Revolution Hall in Portland, 4 days after the release of his hotly anticipated book “A Higher Loyalty.”

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg says his company will proactively search out “anyone whose data might have been affected” by the Cambridge Analytica data breach. I’m hoping not to hear from him; the Drip banished anyone who insisted on posting those awful hate memes during the election.

Today is the actual the birthday of Governor Tom McCall, whose legacy we’ve been celebrating with pithy quotes all week, and today I will post my favorite. One of his most famous. In fending off the blowback he received from the “Don’t Come Here” sound bite, which some took as an impediment to economic development, McCall said these words: “Oregon is demure and lovely, and it ought to play a little hard to get. And I think you’ll be just as sick as I am if you find it is nothing but a hungry hussy, throwing herself at every stinking smokestack that’s offered.”

William Shatner is 87 today. He made fun of my voice once, so I made fun of his. Having thus bonded, I called on him when a Trekkie family member became ill a few years ago, and he immediately responded with a personal note on a signed photo. Michelle Obama did the same. Small kindnesses are remembered forever. As are small slights.

Happy birthday to KATU meteorologist, motorcycle daddio and ace pilot David Salesky!

Ringo Starr is now Sir Ringo.

Dis moi quelque chose de bien, s’il vous plaît? OK:

–“Former Make-A-Wish patient now doctor at same hospital that treated her”

–“Two people with severe vision loss due to a degenerative eye disease are able to read after embryonic stem cell treatment.”

–“Salina store clerks found a $1 million lottery ticket – then tracked down its owner” (I know people in Salina. I lived there for a year. Some of the nicest folks you’ll meet).

–“Starbucks Promises 100% Pay Equality for Women and Minorities”

–“Missing 14 year old walks into local business asking for help”

Sleep deprived but full of happy thoughts from last night’s Rosarian Newsmakers of the Year Banquet, it’s time to roll in for the morning merriment with Bruce and Janine on Portland’s K103. Thank you!